brain in the arse

2012-01-31T17:48:00.001Z

It never rains, but it Hot Hails

2012-01-31T15:55:00.001Z

Brr... If only I had a Ton-ton to sleep inside.

2012-01-30T12:55:00.001Z

Salary situation resolved. Phew! OK, now just to pretend I'm back on my island and everything will be fine.

2012-01-30T10:53:00.001Z

Old payroll didn't pay my student loan, landing me in massive debt. New payroll only paid half my salary, so I can't afford to pay it. #fml

2012-01-29T17:36:00.001Z

Not usually one to post a negative update, but

2012-01-28T17:05:00.001Z

Considering bringing the word "tootlings" into the English language as an alternative to "feet". Reckon it'll catch on?

2012-01-27T15:10:00.001Z

For someone who abhors paper and all it satnds for, I don't half have a lot of it on my desk.

2012-01-27T07:49:00.001Z

Watching Adam West's Batman. Batman and The Joker are having a surf-off. It's amazing.

2012-01-26T11:51:00.001Z

Just saw a photo of Sesame St.'s Elmo - he's 6ft tall.
That being so, how big is Big Bird?

2012-01-26T08:41:00.001Z

On hold to Inland Revenue. A glorious start to the day.

2012-01-24T08:30:00.001Z

Mysteries of the Universe: Infectious or contagious yawning http://ping.fm/9hZZd

2012-01-21T06:13:00.001Z

More Luton fun. Beer before boarding. Au revoir!

2012-01-20T11:14:00.001Z

Content is king, sitemap is God. Ignore it at your peril.

2012-01-20T10:36:00.001Z

I've set up a Google+ page for Get it Loud in Libraries, go +1 us now! :) http://ping.fm/GJk9t

2012-01-18T08:24:00.001Z

Regular speed hand dryers and no travellators? Oh Luton, do the other airports laugh at you?

2012-01-18T06:51:00.001Z

At Luton airport on't way to Edinburgh. It's a jetset life, this web design gig.

2012-01-14T18:27:00.001Z

Champagne-laced floor picnic with Becs. Mumm-ra eyeing us suspiciously.

2012-01-14T11:40:00.001Z

I AM A SHARK.

2012-01-10T14:58:00.001Z

Of course you can't negotiate with Compliance. The clue is in the title.

2012-01-05T18:56:00.001Z

Desk moving day tomorrow: Who will win? Who will lose? Who will move back to where they were last year? Me :)

2012-01-04T09:18:00.001Z

How come the little icons that represent the weather are so much more appealing than the reality?

2012-01-03T19:44:00.001Z

New year, back to work and an end to recreational drinking. That's right: it's time to take it seriously again.

2011-12-28T15:14:00.001Z

Hooded chap on train to his girlfriend: "This is house music. It's the best sort of music". Cue 20mins of bleating and wooping from his louder-than-life earphones. #fml

2011-12-27T12:31:00.001Z

Shopping in Liverpool. Glad I brought my tranquilliser gun, but probably best to use it on myself.

2011-12-21T12:30:00.001Z

When your boss tells you that you're going to the pub for opening time, you say yes. #doomed

2011-12-19T22:56:00.001Z

Just seen the brilliant Slow Club at Union Chapel. Also learnt that pews are uncomfortable and that they give you water instead of wine at that thing they do... Mass...?

2011-12-17T13:23:00.001Z

Christmas roast day! Let's eat and drink and yeah!

2011-12-15T23:00:00.001Z

Whenever someone on TV is swimming underwater, I hold my breath too. I rarely make it out alive.

2011-12-15T16:17:00.001Z

Just uploaded a special Xmas logo for Get It Loud In Libraries http://ping.fm/DzTi8

2011-12-13T12:35:00.001Z

Say what you like about their medicinal benefits, I just take placebos for the taste.

2011-12-12T09:35:00.001Z

Feel free to follow @love_libraries on Twitter - it should provide a nice stream of cool library events you'll probably love!

2011-12-10T19:19:00.001Z

Just built http://ping.fm/Ye7YX to promote Libraries & their events in the build up to National Libraries Day (4th Feb). Get involved.

2011-12-10T11:38:00.001Z

Ho ho ho.

2011-12-08T18:05:00.001Z

If you need me I'll be in the pub. It's not a cause/effect relationship - my status remains immovable, regardless of yours.

2011-12-08T12:21:00.001Z

my mood: delete *.*

2011-12-06T11:51:00.001Z

busy rebranding marmosets as 'finger monkeys'

2011-12-06T09:03:00.001Z

Rock fans are more susceptible to road rage, a new study has shown. Let's chalk that up as another reason not to drive.

2011-12-06T00:37:00.001Z

Coding into the wee hours...

2011-12-02T07:54:00.001Z

Ever want to correct graffiti spelling and punctuation in angry red pen?

2011-12-01T12:03:00.001Z

IP address analysis to uncover potential breaches of competition etiquette... Good old Thursday; always something new.

2011-11-30T21:15:00.001Z

Becs has decided that Mumraa the cat looks half duck, half rabbit. Question is: which half is which?

2011-11-30T09:17:00.001Z

Is it flip flops weather? #WhereAreMyShoes?

2011-11-29T16:57:00.001Z

Stuck in Swindon. Is this the price of inter-office co-operation? Count me out!

2011-11-29T08:33:00.001Z

Digital day out in Cheltenham. Yes, we know where the good times are at... :)

2011-11-28T20:59:00.001Z

TV listings tonight: 'Signed by Katie Price' and 'Dog Patrol' are on at the same time! Tough choice considering I thought they were the same

2011-11-28T09:41:00.001Z

Has been watching a +1 channel on TV and is now late for work. Monday fail #1.

2011-11-28T09:21:00.001Z

What untold terrors await me in the dark depths of the impending week?

2011-11-26T00:58:00.001Z

I'm forming a drunk Wings tribute band called "band on the rum".

2011-11-24T15:01:00.001Z

Can't strand having been overlooked on NME's cool list again. Gutted.

2011-11-22T16:14:00.001Z

It's definitely not a deadline if it can still get up and wander around.

2011-11-19T17:36:00.001Z

Christmas starts here. Our tree already has a colour scheme and a glittery theme after a day of decoration shopping. I'm knackered.

2011-11-18T08:44:00.001Z

I've got that Friday Feeling. I feel a bit crunchie.

2011-11-17T00:36:00.001Z

You know that thing where your life flashes before your eyes before you die? Isn't that... umm... life?

2011-11-16T07:56:00.001Z

Has managed to get Paypal to recognise I exist, but doing something useful is the next challenge. The documentation doesn't give away much.

2011-11-15T14:02:00.001Z

$mood;

2011-11-12T17:17:00.001Z

Excited as a llama at a chewing contest.

2011-11-12T11:53:00.001Z

Tramping in the cornflakes on Primrose Hill.

2011-11-10T11:11:00.001Z

putting the 'stupid' into 'stupidendous'.

2011-11-08T08:28:00.001Z

Trampoline: lubricant for homeless people.
Trampette: hobo dog.

2011-11-05T17:59:00.001Z

Becs' birthday mosh this eve. Make a wish and blow out the Roman Candles...

2011-11-04T15:41:00.001Z

Polygon: no parrots.
Polymath: more than one parrot.

2011-11-01T10:35:00.001Z

Account handling feedback for this morning: "Can we make it look a bit different?"

2011-10-31T09:54:00.001Z

Smashing pumpkins

2011-10-29T13:27:00.001Z

Hellhounds next door are barking up a storm. What would be the natural enemy of dogs? Where do I get one?

2011-10-27T23:14:00.001Z

Packing up for the night. I'd be so rich right now if I were paid overtime!

2011-10-27T20:37:00.001Z

...oh, and a queue of about 15 people waiting to get in. They may as well have had a guest list.

2011-10-27T20:36:00.001Z

Just thought I'd mention that there was a bouncer on the door of the costume shop at the top of Camden this evening. Rock and roll.

2011-10-26T08:33:00.001Z

Trying not to address strangers as 'Earthling'

2011-10-22T10:20:00.001Z

is an uncle!

2011-10-21T08:13:00.001Z

Of course they're 3D glasses! They wouldn't fit my face otherwise.

2011-10-20T20:15:00.001Z

Leaving work now... So, 16 hours? Brill. Not as long as my sister's labour is taking thou... Win?

2011-10-20T03:58:00.001Z

It may be early, but in Hong Kong it's nearly midday and the World's Local Bank needs me... *yawn*

2011-10-12T15:06:00.001Z

My allergy to peg legs? It's 'cos I'm lack-toes intolerant.

2011-10-11T21:09:00.001Z

Still in the office waiting for files to be delivered. Office mouse is as unimpressed as I am.

2011-10-07T09:52:00.001Z

The War Of The Stairs is escalating.

2011-10-05T16:03:00.001Z

"How long will it take?" they ask.
I say "Two weeks & we'll need a freelancer."
"You have one, and no freelancer."
Why ask?

2011-10-02T07:55:00.001Z

OMG! Watching Fun House on Challenge TV with Pat Sharpe. All hail the twins.

2011-09-30T10:36:00.001Z

Get your F5 button limbered up: it's IOW Festival tickets time.

2011-09-29T08:32:00.001Z

If a leaf falls in your path, it's lucky. If a tiger in the tree above you dislodged it, it's not.

2011-09-28T10:04:00.001Z

The internet keeps going down in the office. Every time it does, I can actually feel my IQ slipping away.

2011-09-28T08:54:00.001Z

Fact of the day: Patrick Moore's monocle is actually a high-powered micro telescope.

2011-09-27T15:02:00.001Z

Sure I use Facebook, but I do it ironically.

2011-09-26T10:47:00.001Z

To do: Fight fire, walk on water, affix moon to stick.

2011-09-24T13:21:00.001Z

Just got hit in the face by a parrot at London Zoo.

2011-09-23T08:31:00.001Z

According to my calculations, Sunday Mass is approximately 3.2kg

2011-09-22T21:26:00.001Z

Rendered up a storm this eve: post boxes, vending machines, fire hydrants... now to make a dog jump over aforementioned street furniture.

2011-09-22T18:41:00.001Z

The internet tells me Hong Kong is littered with fire hydrants. The internet also tells me to burn things. Shame we're not in Hong Kong.

2011-09-21T09:03:00.001Z

Today I'm practising the psychic art of remote viewing to see what my hair looks like from the back.

2011-09-20T22:51:00.001Z

I'd like to be in the line up on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, just so people can tell my music career is truly over... Y'know, make it official.

2011-09-19T20:24:00.001Z

very disappointed that the office mouse hasn't made an appearance this evening. Bad form, old chap.

2011-09-19T11:27:00.001Z

Nick Drake may have just saved an otherwise disastrous day. Again.

2011-09-18T21:01:00.001Z

Why is there never a psychic around when you need one?

2011-09-14T12:14:00.001Z

Listening to dogs barking and cats snoring.

2011-09-13T14:29:00.001Z

The only kind of fun I'm interested in is the wrong sort.

2011-09-10T13:36:00.001Z

Watching The Neverending Story. If you don't hear from me again, I'm probably still watching it.

2011-09-04T19:55:00.001Z

Sunday written off, strangely not by hangover, but by work!

2011-09-03T11:04:00.001Z

Sitting in the garden programming while simultaneously overseeing the baking in the kitchen. What are you doing with your Saturday?

2011-09-02T09:10:00.001Z

"L if ego e son"? Well, Noah and the Whale, I can spell something too: W.T.F.

2011-08-31T22:04:00.001Z

Gilgamesh was, as you may expect... Epic. Food was brill and the intricate wall panels were also quite a relief.

2011-08-31T11:11:00.001Z

My sideburns have totally engulfed my face. When was the last time YOUR face hugged YOU?