Gilgamesh was, as you may expect... Epic. Food was brill and the intricate wall panels were also quite a relief.

My sideburns have totally engulfed my face. When was the last time YOUR face hugged YOU?

oh, and I saw the new Thundercats series today, by the way. Totally triff' - find it and watch it.

I understand that the world must keep turning, but must it do so quite so violently?

Brian May on with My Chemical Romance. E.P.I.C. #ReadingFestival

Reading festival checklist:
One case of beer,
Another case of beer.

I'm in the Hospital club. Apparently it's a bar and not a euphemism for long-term illness.

Optometrist: a person who sees things positively.

I've got the gardener coming today. I don't think I'm ready to have a gardener, I don't even have a monocle yet.

Ladies: reduce the appearance of wrinkles with a simple application of vaseline...

...to my eyes.

Feral child next door communicates by barking and howling. It's not annoying at all.

What? I'm allowed to laugh: Purile and penile sound very similar.

I've been staring at the word "tree" now for so long that it's lost all meaning.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese...

So, she said "do you want an aperitif?" And I said "I've got a pair of teeth!" And oh, how we laughed.

New studio printer apparently prints 55 pages per minute. Seems a bit superfluous when my output is 55 pages per month.

If I wanted to do a web search using Bing, I'd go to Bing. If I want to search Facebook, I do not want Bing results! kthxbye.

This may be the booze talking, but clouds are frickin' ace!

My contribution to the work summer party/picnic (in the rain) is homemade quiche. "Homemade", it says here "in a factory in Bradford".

With the possible exception of the Sahara Desert, The Cave is the dustiest place on Earth. #movingHouse

I could never go out with a girl whose head was larger than mine. Sure, there'd be an attraction, but it would be gravitational.

Today I met Michelle Pfeiffer and built a sofa bed. Top that.

WWW.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/aug/08/london-riots-blackberry-messenger-looting confirms my suspicion that anyone with a blackberry is in need of a lobotomy... #londonriots

I'm moved, I truly am... apart from the rest of my stuff.

Huh - just heard "swagger jagger"... why does the chorus have the same tune as "oh my darlin' Clementine"? - not impressed.

My hair is pretty wild today. It just bit a passing stranger.

Made the next train: its fast and gets in at the same time as my original one - Tim Burton has been vindicated.

Missed my train and I blame Tim Burton. It's about time he took responsibility for stuff going wrong in my life.

Been on set now down at Angel Bay - epic set! I also know a lot about fish canning now... More than I ever wanted... #darkShadows

When you get a lot of actors together, there's bound to be drama.

International beer day today! http://ping.fm/GkYjL - cheers!

Water on Mars? http://ping.fm/dtsSH

Things you have to learn the hard way: Cutting up chillis and subsequently removing contact lenses results in screaming like a little girl.

From the sublime to the ridiculous: just made a carrot pizza in the cave kitchen!

I don't think I'll let fame change me. I can hire people to do that.

Oh, and I had a coffee with Charlize Theron's face double this morning too. #livingTheDream

Just driving down "Goldfinger Avenue" on my way out of the studio. Which is the ejector seat?

Not going according to plan this morning - headed to pinewood, but the trains are against me! #darkShadows

Scene changed & costume fitting cancelled for #DarkShadows - at least that avoids the clash with my work summer party!

Cave sweet cave

This is quite exciting: http://ping.fm/67l9a - headed to Pinewood early Wednesday for costume fitting. My 2nd film with Depp...

Still in the North post-Kendal - brilliant festival, great acts on at the library stage and topped off with Blondie - mega t'riff!