Rock/Roll (delete as appropriate)

Just accidentally discovered a new #toptip. Try raspberries after super spicy food - cools down a treat!

What do you do if you're a lost squirrel on Tottenham Court Road?

Whatever the weather, I shall be outlandishly and inappropriately dressed.

Your fish is my command!

Worried I'll spend my life seeking the best toilet experience. That shouldn't be a reason to go to work - unless you're a toilet attendant.

doesn't feel he is quite ready for work today, but at least they have nicer toilets and I can catch up on my sleep. #glasto

Morning #glasto! Brilliant day yesterday with Radiohead, vaccines and primal scream. Wearing a tiger suit now.

Has eaten too much angel delight.

Monkeys wonder: http://ping.fm/M8WgA bees worry: http://ping.fm/gRDIj - next they'll be saying that it's not only humans who have souls or go to heaven!

The door keeps opening and closing of its own volition and I, like a mug, keep looking. Don't encourage inanimate objects to annoy. #toptip

If it's not on Wikipedia I don't believe it.

New contact lenses: I feel like I've just upgraded my eyes to HD. I can't wait for the next generation of 3d eyes!

has accidentally been using '£' instead of '$' in all his variables. Some kind of subconscious Imperialism seems to be going on in my head.

Every superhero has his Achilles heel or his kryptonite. Mine is rain. Not that it kills me, I just don't like it.

Just had a call from my agent. I have the same dimensions as Derren Brown - I could be his stand-in if I had short hair, apparently.

At the train station, dressed like a loon, eating pizza and generally freaking out commuters. I Rule.

I hate to be rash, but I think I'm allergic.

in a word: urgh.

at CERN they've been experimenting with a machine to smash atoms of pineapple, rum and coconut together. They call it the pina collider.

Pigeon in the building. Best day ever.

I'm very pro crastinating

tonight is a night for trashy action films. Guns, explosions, flimsy plots and gratuitous amounts of... whatever.

Bahahaha! http://ping.fm/YJUxj

"...and the wolf huffed and puffed and blew the house down, but he was only meant to blow the bloody doors off"