all of human knowledge and experience has arrived here at this moment: jaeger bomb.

seize a salad

THE ANTI-CRAWL IS HERE! GET YOURSELVES TO CAMDEN FOR 2!

did I miss something? someone getting married today?

bwwrrwwALLbrrwwbbbrrrwwwHAILrrrbbeewrrTHEsrrwwewrHYPNOTOADrberrwwssbbrr

what part of "I am a shark" don't you understand?

just been caving. I like caves.

in The Friary in Lancaster - it's huge! Repurposed as a proper place of worship!

Wherever I go in the world, I always seem to end up in an O'Neills pub...

Southport has lived to regret me... Now it's Liverpool's turn. Wish it luck!

An idiot up North

Is The North ready for me? Too late North, time's up.

This day only needs beer to make it the best day ever... but I say that everyday.

is laundering money... and anything else I forgot to take out of my pockets.

Never mind Dudley Moore, I'm rolling in MY grave over Russell Brand in Arthur... Try and get lost a little closer to the moon than NY, ta.

Watch out for sharks on the tube: Saw my Sea Life escalator panels on the tube yesterday. Woop! Next up: penguins.

in terms of complexity, the fractal is only surpassed by the exit system at Old Street tube. Please send a search party.

Lineup, lineup. Exciting times. http://ping.fm/HFbiR

Rise of the Planet of the Apes http://ping.fm/gX3cC EeeeEEeeee!

from the cave kitchen: quorn & kidney bean vegetable enchiladas. That's Mexican for 'I rock' #manCooking

socks are thin on the ground

In the battle of the card games, there can be only Uno

having only seen pictures, its impossible to conclude anything other than that The Gym is an updated medieval torture chamber.

lounging in the sunny Russell Square with my fellow Earthlings. Not a bad planet at all.

political views and brain structure: vote stupid - http://ping.fm/55sWF

Sometimes, I squeeze the toothpaste at the top #rockandroll

interesting casual gaming in online ads talk & kinect stuff... now to play games!

at Microsoft HQ in Victoria drinking beer and awaiting a gaming seminar. I rule.

Ukelele in Glee? I'm such a trend-setter.

and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "you look fertile. What's the gestation period for humans?"

a healthy dose of blisteringly loud Hawaiian shirts is sure to make the sun show it's sorry face in shame.

presumably veggie foods are in the "meat free" section just in case you change your mind.

just paid the balance on my #glasto ticket. Cautiously eyeing up Reading now...

Up early, but not early enough to catch Twitter snoozin'. Next time, Twitter.

drinking very very cheap Maltese wine brought back from Gozo's capital. If I'd recently swallowed paint, this would be the cure. #toptip

say what you like about Internet Explorer, it certainly makes life more interesting (I hate interesting).

Focus. Hocus pocus. in the office. #winning

why are you at work when you could be frolicking in the daffodils?