surf day 3: No surf. Beach volleyball and recovery from a drinking game version of snakes and ladders.

surf day 2: sister almost lost at sea, brother returns Tony's wetsuit instead of his rental.

just learnt he's been focussing magic eye images the wrong way and thus seeing the images in relief... for the past 7 years.

surf day 1: sliced up one board, broke the fin off another. Let's try again tomorrow!

Just reached the stage in the evening when tv becomes an 8-bit internet. They still do this?

Friday before holiday? You know what that means... Shonky rushed Photoshopping! yayyyy!

Go nuts for donuts.

Feels like Friday. Must do some work before the pub though... rats.

Corporate sell-out Riley is wearing pointy shoes now. Yes, he is a bleedin' pixie.

Corporate sell-out Riley. Now available in grey.

has got tickets for The Libertines tonight. That's right, I rule.

Captain America kicks girls in the groin.

The most awesome penguins ever assembled...

Gone are days of waiting in the rain to see a light turn on and catching a glimpse through net curtains. Facebook makes stalking too easy.

Dear homeless people,
The Sandwich Cave Gardens are now officially closed to the public. More officially than before. With a padlock.

is tired of the ongoing and daily struggle of trying to paraphrase his every thought and emotion so that it fits within a measley 140 charac

why doesn't someone invent a toilet that flushes when you put down the lid? NB: if this is subsequently invented I want £1 million (o.n.o.)

Hair of the dog; that's what they say,
Hair of the dog keeps me drinking in the day

Catchphrase for work today: buncha pissheads.

A long time coming, but NMT is back! http://ping.fm/UjuJb

has got Jimmy Eat World tickets! He thinks you should get some too!

The greatest show [over] Earth: http://ping.fm/26I2k

signed my NDA now, so can't announce anything specific. I can reveal my character name however - "Man 34" #POTC4

off to Pinewood for costume fitting. Splice the mainsail and tighten the jib! #POTC4

Gimme the love of an orchestra.

has been selected to be a pirate. OMFG! *dies*

By the power of Greyskull, one day they'll be talking about me for the right reasons.

is watching Mad Men. It makes me want to smoke, drink and belittle women. Well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

can't find a belt this morning. I guess I'm gonna have to start over-eating.

Jolly fine weekend. Thanks all, you're great!

cardigan-related nervous breakdown

Remember how we used to get by before mobile phones? No, me neither.

Always trust your gut: http://ping.fm/vGTUa

had that Friday feeling but it's wearing off. That's ok though, as it felt suspiciously like a hangover.

this pub is starting to resemble the concept of 'home'. Time to quit? Start if the spiral? You decide.

When 'working from home' involves more of a commute than working from work, you know the irony fairies have had their magic irons out.

is only using this brain 'cos it came with the body.

it's on mornings like this, gazing out across the sun-drenched London skyline, that I think to myself "I'm hungry. Toast?"

is it me or is most twitter trending 'cos of tweens tweeting their disbelief at the trend. Self-fulfilling. Stop feeding the beast!

is crunching numbers. Traditionally, I've only crunched 0's, but you'd be surprised at how good 9's taste.

is apparently being followed by Prefab Sprout. Not in the twitter sense, either (unless they read this).

if violence isn't the answer, then the question shouldn't have been so moronic.

it appears to be raining. why am I at the park?

Quite excited seeing the JSA in Smallville. #thingsNotToTalkToGirlsAbout

has got a personality disorder. All of them hate me.

Whoa. It seems I need to up my game somewhat. http://ping.fm/loU6O

I am Jack's screaming kidneys.

Top tip: Make yourself more interesting. Start sending yourself gifts and addressing them from different men with Brazilian-sounding names

Today was fun. Highlights include Inception, Edinboro Castle in the rain, pot noodle and casting session for Pirates of the Caribbean 4...

had a nice early night last night, and woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead. Looked at my watch: 11:58pm. #FML

Haha, take that, Apple. Makes me so proud of the hacking community. http://tinyurl.com/2a2jqsj

is done with gardening now, at least for this week. Time to rest this poor abused body of mine.

is back from the 70s, but all this time travel has taken its toll.

Top tip: if you have no confetti at a wedding, throw rice. If you have no rice, use grapefruit.

just had his face melted off by Whole Lotta Rosie.